Starting to Send Self-Addressed Love Letters
This morning, I woke up with a poem about the wind (it does come sweeping down the plain – did you hear it last night?) and then in the shower was humming, “Oh When the Saints, Go Marching In.” Yes, I felt goooood. It was like right out of a Bambi movie. I’m not real interested in going to the place of fear right now. In fact, I was telling myself it’s time to go home, I feel so good.
But we’re only in day 2. So, I guess I’ll stay. I’m finding the FasterEFT process effective so far. This morning, I focused on catching myself each time I had negative thoughts, feelings, or body reactions, and then interrupting them with the FasterEFT process.
It appears that almost anything sets me off. The lack of heat in the room. The whistling wind I had just loved so much. My sweet, sleeping roommate. And so I tapped. And I saw a whole cascade of roommates parade by, all the way back to my sisters growing up. It appears that in my whole life I have never had a “good” roommate. I decided to change this program by simply asking my roommate to read this. Especially because she seems interesting and it feels better to connect. So . . . her response: “I told you I was easy,” she said, and then we went to breakfast, together. So many opportunities, so little much time.
“Those who don’t like you just haven’t got good taste yet.”
Today, we were polled – who has the biggest, juiciest problem. I had the microphone taken from me right quick. Not because I don’t have juicy ones. I’m pretty sure it was shame that kept me from speaking up. That’s right, let it go. Let it go.
The three people with whom Robert worked today had experienced what some call “capital T trauma.” Brittney*, Dan* and Ellie*. Brittney’s family divorced when she was five, she had a child Philip, who died, she witnessed her stepfather put a knife to her mother’s throat and stopped the attack, and she had been estranged from her mother. However, she experienced a profound love where there had been only tears and upset. It took all of 30 minutes. There was no memory flipping. Just love. Is memory flipping a way to open the channels to the possibility of love?
With Brittney, it seemed the common strand in all memories was a feeling of loss established at a very young age after the family was “lost.” She practiced the grieving and the loss, built a foundation for her life on it, all the way out to her own family’s unreasonable abandonment of her. Not anymore.
Robert mentioned, “You can destroy any problem. If you can understand the process you can do anything.” Robert goes to the heart of the matter, no matter how awful, and then he pulls the person right back out. Then he dips back in to the pain, and then out again, using all kinds of Wile E. Coyote ways, till part of the way through, they want to be saying, “Wait a minute, I want to be crying here, but instead I’m laughing.” And then the whole thing is gone, poof. There’s a word for this. It’s not fracking but it’s messing with the programming until the programming is so messed up that the issue is gone.
At age five, Dan witnessed a brutal incident involving his father attacking his mother, followed by the violence of the police against his father. A scenario similar echoed this first situation later in life. The lost trust and betrayal feelings, along with the strong desire to protect and believe that it was somehow his fault had played itself out in both situations, but the seeds for these beliefs had been planted in the first situation. Robert had him going fishing by the session’s end.
Ellie didn’t like fishing so much, as that’s where she had been sexually abused as an 11 year old, and later, raped. And while I identified various memories with each of the people who were worked on, this one was the most powerful for me. I found it especially interesting the way that Robert suggested to shift that first memory from such a bad experience to a more loving “sexual education” with someone she had met later in life that she actually loved and with whom she would have had a healthy sexual first experience.
And thus ended the first transformational FasterEFT weekend that yours truly has ever attended. It was a profound experience for me watching the work, experiencing the work (through my own sessions), admiring the courage of Robert going right for the jugular, and sorting through my own “stuff” – letting it go, letting it go, perhaps I no longer need to categorize all my issues anymore? Wrapping up, we sang, danced, and got to make faces at Robert for all the ways that he pushed our buttons during the session. Only he thought he was taking a picture of all of us making a funny face.
*Names changed for privacy
Is an EFT practitioner, writer, editor, and author of Tapping Into Wellness: Using EFT to Clear Emotional Pain and Illness (Llewellyn Fall 2015), and an eager learner of the thinking system of FasterEFT. She is proud mama to a nearly 17-year-old son, who is a delight and continual inspiration, and there is also a cat, Mr. Purr, (Bob Purr), who owns them both.
Contact: or www.eftminnesota.com.