Memories can be thought of in two ways – either fondly or regretfully. And it’s true that often we tend to blend memories until they remain a shadow of the actual truth. Two people could be experiencing the same thing, at the same time, yet have completely different versions of what happened. That means they have a different memory of the same event. That’s what we meant when we said that memories get blurry.
They get fuzzy around the edges until we can’t separate fact from fiction. The good news is, you don’t need to know what is fact and what is fiction. Since it’s all contained within your mind like a movie, you can go back and ‘edit’ the parts of the movie you didn’t like! How cool is that?
Memories with high emotional intensity attached to them are usually the ones that either haunt us through the year or make us smile when we think about them.
Many people struggle to recall memories. The only way you can tell if you have a problem by the current circumstances you are experiencing. If you’re struggling in life, chances are there is a memory or memories that support you current predicament. However, there are so many memories that seem to be connected to a particularly traumatic event, that it can be very difficult to know where to start.
There is a simple, organized method for addressing all of the memories that are relevant to your current challenge – whether it’s financial, emotional, physical. Using the following method will mean that you may not even need to address some of these memories since they may have flipped before you even get to them.
The Structure of Memories
Whatever your problem is right now, it is only the surface part of a deep and complex structure. Let’s take an example. Suppose you are buried under a mountain of debt. Now think of that debt as a house. The part of the house you can see cannot exist on its own. It is the foundation that supports the building. Depending on the type of building, the foundation may be simple or more complicated. It may have several levels, or it may be one level.
The structure of the foundation is very different to that of the house. If you didn’t know anything about houses or concrete or cement or how they’re built. When you were a child, you probably looked at a house, and had no idea of the structure below the ground that went into keeping that building standing strong.
It is the same with every problem you have. No matter what it is, or in which area of your life you’re experiencing it, it has a foundation below the level of consciousness. And that foundation has a specific structure. In the case of the debt problems, the structure of the foundation varies depending on the individual; and the fact that each person has a unique life experience means that every structure is unique.
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How Memories Form the Structure of Problems
The core structures that support your problems are built up of memories. The subconscious constructs foundations out of those core memories. Very often the combination of memories may not make logical sense to the conscious mind.
It’s important to note that the subconscious is not capable of logic or reason. It creates these structures based on experiences – connected by feelings – rather than on reason or logic. For example: While a puppy and a physical threat to survival is not a logical match to the conscious mind, the subconscious can connect them through an experience that the individual may no longer consciously remember.
Let’s explain this further with an example:
Mark is an infant, and he’s in a dreamy, relaxed state. Mark is focused on his puppy, and unaware of everything else around him. Suddenly, he hears his father yelling, and his body reacts in shock. His brain immediately triggers his organs to produce fight or flight chemicals, and his body instantly goes into an emergency state.
Mark’s subconscious will automatically search to make a connection between the danger and the source of it. Since the infant’s conscious mind is not yet able to work out where the threat came from, and since his full focus was on a puppy at the time, his subconscious may create a connection between the puppy and the stress state.
From then on, whenever Mark sees a puppy, his body goes into fight or flight and he starts to cry. his parents have no idea what happened, and cannot understand why their child is suddenly and inexplicably terrified of puppies. As Mark gets older, his conscious mind understands that puppies can’t hurt him, but he still can’t help feeling fear whenever he sees a puppy.
Naturally, Mark’s conscious mind doesn’t remember the original incident, but the memory of it is stored in his subconscious as part of his survival system. His conscious mind believes he has a weird phobia of puppies, and so he simply does whatever he can to avoid coming into contact with them.
Now, another infant may not have made the connection between puppies and danger – not every individual will make the same connections. It will depend on the emotional state at the time, the intensity and precise position of the focus, and the events that followed the incident. It will also depend on the experiences that came after the event and were filtered through that particular event.
So, when Mark begins to use FasterEFT, he doesn’t need to remember exactly what started this whole fear of puppies. He can tap on the fear he feels when he sees puppies. He can tap on the look of the puppy, the anxiety that he feels whenever he comes into contact with someone who owns a puppy etc. and everything else that comes to his mind when he recalls this memory of a puppy makes him feel.
If you have a lot of memories that are coming up for you, and you don’t know where to start, start with the earliest one. Start with the earliest memory you have. This is like removing one of the lower cards in a house of cards – it may well cause those above it to collapse as a result. If you’re not sure which is your earliest memory, pick the one that has the strongest emotional charge.
Once you’ve addressed that one, go back and check your problem, and notice what’s different. If there are still negative emotions left (no matter how small or apparently insignificant) make a list of the other memories that have come up for you. Just use one or two words to identify each one, and list them in order of intensity or timeline – whichever feels easier.
Then, simply work your way through the list, working on each memory using FasterEFT. As you clear them, you may find you get to some memories that no longer have any emotional charge at all, and these may have even already flipped. If they haven’t, be sure to flip them before you move on. Keep going back to check your current problem in-between – and notice what’s different about it each time.
Don’t stop until you have completely cleared all of the negativity around your problem – in other words, don’t stop when it’s reduced, make sure it has completely flipped. From then on, whenever you encounter anything that bothers you, or you have any thoughts, feelings or memories that come to you that bother you, use the FasterEFT technique in the moment to clear and flip them.
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