In answer to this question, Robert G. Smith, the creator of FasterEFT says you should grieve for as long as you would want a child to grieve. Why?
Because although grief is a natural human reaction, it is a damaging state with no positive side-effects, and does nothing to change the situation.
While you are in a state of grief, you are not only suffering emotionally; your body is impacted physically by the fight or flight emergency state.
Grief, like other negative emotions, triggers the body’s emergency state.
This results in an increase in your heart-rate; blood being pumped away from your organs to your extremities; and the cells of your body and brain not receiving the amount of nutrition they would normally receive.
The Damage of Grief
This stress state also impacts your digestive system, immune system, healing, and your cognitive thinking. Although the body was designed to survive short periods of the fight or flight state, to allow you to escape physical danger, it is not designed to thrive in long periods of this emergency state.
Over a period of time, the reduced blood flow to the organs, the reduced nutrition to the cells, the effects on genetic expression, and other repercussions take their toll and can cause physical damage.
In addition to the physical damage to your health, while you are in a state of grief, your cognitive thinking is affected. This means that your decision-making, your communication, your ability to solve problems and see solutions are all limited while you are in this state.
What About Respect?
Many people feel that it is disrespectful to get over a loss too soon. They feel that the grieving process is a way of showing just how much they care. There is a certain logic to this; however, it is not the only way of showing how much you care.
If you think about it: If you love someone, would you rather they were in a state of misery and suffering, or in a state of love and appreciation. Would you rather be remembered for dying or for the fun and wonderful person you were?
When you think of your loved one, would they rather you remember their death or illness, or the fun and loving times you had together?
Would they rather you focus on how much you miss them and how terrible it is that they’re gone, or would they rather you focus on and appreciate how clever, witty, talented, funny, kind, affectionate they were?
Honoring your loved one by remembering and appreciating how amazing they were and the wonderful times you had together is a far more productive and healthy state than focusing on the loss, sadness and grief. Most of us would much rather be remembered for our value than our death.
Truly respecting your loved one is pondering just how amazing they were, thinking about all their wonderful qualities, the precious gifts of knowledge and experience they left you, and the fun memories you have.
These are things you get to keep long after they’ve left. And these are the true signs of respect, love and caring.
Society has created an expectation of grief simply because the majority of people have been unaware of any other way. However, now that you know there is another, healthier, more productive option, you have the power to choose it.
For step-by-step guidance on getting through the loss of a loved one in a healthy, positive way, read: Getting Over the Loss of a Loved-One Using FasterEFT.
For more information on FasterEFT visit: The FasterEFT Belief System.
For more guidance on using the technique visit: Tips on Using FasterEFT.
To see others benefiting from using FasterEFT for grief and loss, watch the videos in theFasterEFT Grief and Loss Playlist.