Caring about something or someone does not mean you need to suffer. You can care about a cause without the emotional pain that goes with it. You can care about the fact that a loved-one is going through a difficult time without climbing into the negativity with them. In fact, caring from a position of strength and love is infinitely more effective and supportive than joining in with the negativity.
Many people believe that if they don’t feel the negative emotions, it means they don’t care. The truth is, love is the emotion that equals caring; and there is no need for the negative ones.
However, having said that, the way most of us are raised means we carry beliefs inside us that we need to feel bad to show we care. The key is clearing out that programming, and caring in a more effective, productive, loving way that will benefit those we care about, as well as ourselves.
Questions for Clarity
There is a lot going on in the world that causes pain and suffering to humans and animals; and social media has created a much wider awareness of this. The result is, many people who care deeply about the well-being of other living creatures find themselves frequently feeling distraught, angry, frustrated, and other negative emotions.
In addition to this, the escapades of politicians, big business, and other organizations also cause negative emotions in many. There are a couple of questions to ask yourself if you find that you are affected by these situations:
- Can you change it? Is there some action you can take that will help those who are suffering or that will change the circumstances? If so, do that. You don’t need to feel bad emotions to take action. You can simply do it. And instead of feeling the negative emotions, choose to feel the power, sense of achievement and love that comes from taking action to make something better.
- If you can’t change it, how does feeling bad about it help? It’s worth being really honest with yourself about this one. For many, feeling bad feels better than not feeling bad – and that sounds like a contradiction, but if you think about it, it makes perfect sense. Considering the subconscious programming with which most of us were raised, feeling bad about something gives us some kind of payoff. We may feel justified, worthy, righteous, safer, valuable, connected – there is some kind of benefit to feeling bad. The problem is, that benefit is drastically outweighed by the negative effects of feeling bad. For more information on the damage negative emotional states cause to your physical body (and how that damage is caused) read: How Can Emotions Affect Physical Health?
The key is to no longer need to feel bad. If feeling bad does nothing to help the situation, and all it does is cause problems for you – affecting your physical health, happiness, productivity, concentration, creativity, motivation, relationships, and so much more – then it makes sense to find a way to feel good about not feeling bad. And in fact, by reducing the amount of negativity you feel, you will be of far more use to the rest of the world.
- If you were to show how much you care by expressing love instead of negative emotions, what kind of effect would that have on those around you? What kind of effect would it have on your own behavior, choices, productivity, achievements, ideas, actions, communication and everything else? When you are feeling any negative emotion, your body is in a state of stress. And while it is in a state of stress, the part of your brain that is responsible for cognitive thinking, problem solving, comprehension, ideas, communication, persuasion, creativity and logic is not working properly. The activity in this part of the brain is reduced during the fight or flight state because it is not necessary for escaping a predator or other urgent survival activities.
Developing the ability to feel calm and loving in any situation will enable you to contribute far more productively. You will be able to think more clearly, come up with solutions and ideas you wouldn’t otherwise have had access to; you will be able to notice opportunities you wouldn’t have been able to notice while in a negative emotional state; and you will be able to think more logically, as well as communicate more effectively and more persuasively than you would if you were feeling bad.
What Causes the Difference?
The way you feel about situations, people, animals, events, circumstances, and everything else, is based on what you hold in your subconscious. The reason one person responds differently to a situation than others is because of the beliefs inside them.
Your life experience from birth onwards has caused your subconscious to file certain records. These records provide the “proof” of who you are, how the world works, what reality is, and your perception of right and wrong. Each person’s records are different because each person experiences life differently. Even those who live through the same events will experience them differently, based on their unique perspective.
In order to change the need to feel bad as an expression of caring, you need to change the programming that “proves” you have to feel bad to really care. This is, just like everything else, simply a belief based on your life experience to date – what you were taught, and what you experienced.
The difference between a person who feels devastated when they read about a terrible event, unable to concentrate on anything else, and a person who sees the headlines or hears about it, and responds by sending love, is the programming they hold in their subconscious.
The first person carries a belief that the fact that they care means they must read the article and empathize with those involved. They also carry inside their subconscious, references to suffering – either their own, or what they’ve witnessed.
The result is, they read the article and feel the emotions as if they were experiencing it personally. Their body goes into fight, freeze or flight, and they suffer as if they were undergoing the event themselves. The more they focus on the experience, and believe their feelings to be real, the more intense the suffering becomes.
The second person carries a belief that reading the article will only put them into a negative emotional state; and more importantly, will not help those who are suffering or change the situation at all.
Their belief is that by sending love to those involved, they are adding light to the darkness. Their belief is that by staying in a state of love, they are stronger and more useful to those around them; and they may even come up with something they can do to help – because the calm state means their cognitive thinking is optimal.
How to Care without Suffering
In order to be able to feel love in place of fear, anger, frustration, sadness and any other negative emotions, you need to change the records held in your subconscious that provide the “proof” that you should feel bad. And the fastest, most effective way to do this is to use Faster EFT. Follow the steps in the guide: The Faster EFT Technique – Step-by-Step to clear out and change the records that support the belief you need to feel bad in order to care. Keep clearing them out and flipping them until you are able to feel love instead of negative emotions.
For more information on how FasterEFT works, visit: The FasterEFT System.
To watch videos on FasterEFT visit: The FasterEFT YouTube Channel.