Although it may seem that bullies have the power to make others suffer; the truth is, they can’t do it on their own. A bully who is trying to make life difficult for someone who doesn’t play their part in the game is effectively playing tennis without a partner. The only way to be bullied is to respond accordingly – to “hit that tennis ball back” to the bully.
The solution to being bullied is to change your own response – and to leave the bully playing on their own. However, doing this through changing your actions is not only ineffective, it can make you feel even worse. It can feel like you are allowing the bully to “get away with it” and taking on the blame for the bullying yourself.
The only way to really free and empower yourself is to change the original data inside yourself that cause the feelings in response to the bully’s behavior.
Blaming the Victim
It may seem, at first, that taking the responsibility for your own response is the equivalent of blaming yourself for the bully’s actions – the equivalent of saying that what you’re suffering at the hands of the bully is your own fault.
This is not the case. In fact, it is the opposite – it empowers you to change your experience without the need for the other person to change. For more information on this, read: Responsibility vs Blame.
Changing the Bully
No matter how bad the bully is; no matter how wrong they are; no matter what action you take, you cannot change the other person without their cooperation.
You may be able to get them to understand how their behavior is hurting you, and you may be able to get them to change their behavior, but there is no way you can make them change against their will.
The only person you have full, complete control over is yourself.
Why Should I Change?
Changing yourself doesn’t mean changing your behavior to accommodate the bully or to allow the bully to get away with it. It doesn’t mean excusing the bullying behaviors; and it doesn’t mean suffering in silence.
What it does mean is changing the data you hold in your subconscious that is causing the way you feel when the bully does what they do. For more information on how this data is created, and how it affects daily life, read The REAL Cause of All Your Problems and How to Change Your Reality.
Why should you change? Because it’s the way to free and empower yourself. You have the key to your freedom; you just need to use it. Using that key – using FasterEFT to change the data you hold inside you that causes your suffering – will mean you are no longer affected by the bully, regardless of what they do.
If you have a boss who treats you with disrespect by ignoring you, telling you to do things without saying “please”; if he criticizes you, and even uses bad language; you may automatically feel hurt, inferior, disrespected, and traumatized.
However, if you had a way of feeling no bad feelings – if you had a way of feeling good regardless of what that person is doing, he would have no power over you.
If you knew how to change the original records that cause those bad feelings, you would then have the choice – to continue to suffer at the hands of the bully; or to change those original records, and end your own suffering. The bully himself may or may not change – but it won’t matter because you’re able to feel good regardless of what he’s doing or saying.
If someone is serving food you don’t like; you can continue to eat it, or you can serve yourself food you do like, and eat that instead. If a bully is serving you with behavior you don’t like; you can continue to feel the bad feelings, waiting for the bully to change; or you can change the programs inside yourself that make you feel that way – change them to feelings you do want to feel. No matter how it looks, you do have the ability to change your own feelings.
No-one can bully you without your cooperation. There’s nothing wrong with cooperating of course; but it is important to understand you do have the choice – to play or to not play.
To hit the ball back to the bully, or to turn and look the other way – by changing the original records inside yourself that your subconscious is referring to, that cause you to see the ball. Without those records, you won’t even register the ball!
To find out how to clear the original records that are causing the bad feelings inside of you, read: How to Change from Victim to Boss using FasterEFT.
To learn more about FasterEFT and to see FasterEFT in action, watch the videos in the FasterEFT in Action Playlist.
Article by: Robert G. Smith