We all have them. Little things that bug us. They’re usually things that don’t bother most of those around us; but they can drive us crazy. For some it’s language: mispronunciations; words used incorrectly; slang; or just specific words we have an aversion to, like “belly” or “moist”. For others, it’s punctuation, grammar and spelling.
For some it’s people who don’t say “thank you” when the door is held open for them (or in other instances), for others it’s the sound of someone eating with their mouth open. There are endless options for pet peeves, and you may well have adopted a peeve as a pet without being consciously aware of it.
What’s Wrong with Pet Peeves?
Well, there’s nothing wrong with them as such; however, they do provide specific results. In other words, if you’re happy with your peeves, and feeling the way you feel about them, then you’ll want to nurture them and continue feeding them. If, on the other hand, you want to feel happier and freer – and you no longer want to be at the mercy of other people and situations beyond your own control – you will then want to free your peeves into the wild, releasing them from your experience.
You will notice that if you have a pet peeve, you are constantly coming across it. You will probably also have noticed that very often, when you point it out, the people you are with hadn’t noticed it at all until you mentioned it. This is because your brain is perfectly tuned in to your pet – giving it full attention rather than ignoring it. This is what helps your pet survive and thrive in your life.
Your reticular activating system (RAS) – the part of your brain that filters most of the information that you are exposed to, and prioritizes it – is constantly honing in on what’s important to you. And whatever you put your conscious focus on, with emotions behind it – that will be considered important by your RAS. Effectively, pet peeves are like pigeons.
If you start to pay attention to them by feeding them, you will attract more of them, and they will follow you wherever you go.
What Causes Pet Peeves
Anything that bothers you only bothers you because you have records in your subconscious that provide evidence that it should bother you in that way. These records may have started off with an early life experience, or a comment from someone you respected, or something learned from your parents, peers, school teachers – or any number of others you interacted with growing up.
It may have started when you experienced an event in a particular way that caused a specific impression. However it began, that original record will have been built on by subsequent experiences and information – all providing the support for a foundation belief that has become wired into your brain, and programmed into your unconscious.
Now, whenever you encounter that particular experience, your RAS picks it up and draws your attention to it promptly (whereas, those around you who are not wired for this experience won’t notice it since their RAS has other priorities), and your brain signals your organs to produce the chemicals that match the programming.
For example, if you feel irritated at the sound of someone continuously sniffing, your RAS will highlight that sound whenever you’re within hearing distance, and your brain will instantly trigger your organs to produce the chemicals that cause the sensations of irritation.
If you feel indignant and righteous when you see “your” used when it should be “you’re” – again, your RAS will hone in on that, bringing it to your attention, and your brain and body will immediately respond with the chemicals that case the sensations of righteous indignation.
Everything that bothers you – every peeve – no matter how logical or obvious it may seem, is purely the result of the references you hold. The things that bother you won’t bother everyone (even though that may seem bizarre) – just as there are plenty of things that bother others that don’t bother you.
How to Free Yourself
It’s important to bear in mind that you cannot change anything or anyone outside of yourself without their cooperation. If a stranger on a train is humming under his breath, and this drives you crazy, you could try asking him to stop but you cannot make him stop. If he continues to do it, or you don’t want to confront him, the result is that you are suffering. You are the one who is feeling frustrated, irritated, angry – or whatever other negative emotions you are experiencing.
The options are: continue to suffer, or get rid of the peeve. If the sound of someone humming under their breath no longer bothers you, you will probably not even hear it since your RAS will be focused on other, more relevant data; and if you do hear it, it will no longer cause you to feel irritated, frustrated, or any other negative emotion.
How to Release Your Pet Peeves into the Wild
Peeves will only remain your pets if choose to keep them – if you feed them and give them attention. Once you release them, they will no longer hang around. So, how do you free your pet peeves forever? Well, since the peeves are attached to a record in your subconscious that provides “proof” the problem is true, changing that record will result in the peeve automatically leaving you, of its own accord.
Start by thinking about your peeve. What is it that bothers you? How do you know it bothers you? What do you feel? What thoughts come to you to justify your opinion? For example, if your peeve is people not saying “thank you” when you hold the door for them, how do you know they’re wrong to not say “thank you”?
What is it about that behavior that makes you feel so strongly? You may say they’re rude and ill-mannered. You may say that they have no respect or appreciation. Notice these points, and write them down. Make a list of all of the reasons you feel the way you do about that thing.
Now, take the first point on the list, and think of how you know that’s true. Where did you learn that particular point? Go back to your first memory of experiencing it, and use the FasterEFT technique to flip it. If you can’t remember where you learned it, just go back to any memory of experiencing it – where the emotions are strong – and flip that. Even if it was just yesterday. Make sure you keep repeating the process until you have completely flipped the memories.
Test to Make Sure Your Peeve isn’t just Hiding
Once you’ve flipped all of your memories connected with your peeve, and it feels like it’s gone, it’s time to make sure it’s not just hiding. To test it, think about experiencing that event right now. So, if your peeve was people whistling, imagine you can hear someone whistling right now. Close your eyes, and just hear it in your head.
Pay very close attention to how your body feels. Notice any feelings at all. Then make sure you use the FasterEFT process to clear them, no matter how small or insignificant they may seem. Then it’s time to really test yourself out in the real world. Notice, when you encounter the thing that used to be your pet peeve before, how you feel; and if there are any negative feelings at all, use FasterEFT in the moment to clear and flip them. If there are other people around at the time, use Mental Tapping.
It is essential you use the technique in the moment to clear the negative feelings to make sure your pet peeve doesn’t move back in again! Any time you give in to those negative feelings and thoughts, you are feeding it and encouraging it to become your pet again.
Freeing yourself from your pet peeves will transform your life in many unexpected ways. Having more control over how you feel will affect the decisions and choices you make, how you communicate with others, and so much more.
It is much more empowering and enjoyable to have pet loves – things you just love whenever you come across them!
Watch how Robert G. Smith,founder of FaserEFT, helps a woman to overcome her aversion to the sound of markers on a board…
For more information on FasterEFT and how it works, read: The REAL Cause of All Your Problems.
For step-by-step guidance in using the FasterEFT technique, read: The FasterEFT Technique – Step-by-Step.
To watch Robert explain how the mind works, and demonstrate the process on others, visit the FasterEFT YouTube Channel.