Regardless of what the challenges may be in any relationship, the key to healing is the realization that you cannot change the behavior or choices of anyone outside of yourself. The only way to change your experience of someone else is to change the way you represent that experience inside yourself. Now, that may not be the solution you were hoping for – after all, it would be great if you were able to make the other person change. But considering that is not possible, you have great power in the ability to control your own perceptions and emotional responses.
Rather than relying on someone outside of yourself to change what they are doing so that you might feel better, you can learn to feel better independently of what they are doing. And the interesting thing is that once you do this, you will probably see a change in their behavior anyway. It may not necessarily be what you expect; but whatever it is, your experience of it can be what you decide to make it.
So, how do you heal your relationship?
Realize and accept that only you can fully control how you feel. No-one else can affect the way you feel unless you allow them to.
Choose to change. No matter what those around you do or say, you have the power inside you to choose your perspective – and therefore, your response. You can choose to change the automatic, habitual reactions you’ve been experiencing up until now, and increase your enjoyment of life as a result.
Use the FasterEFT technique to address the problems you experience in your relationship. Start by noticing how you know you have a problem. What is it about the other person that bothers you? Notice how you know it bothers you – what do you feel, and where in your body do you feel it? How strong is that feeling? Then tap on it. As new thoughts and memories come to you – even though they may seem to have nothing to do with this relationship – tap on those too.
You can also go back to see if you can remember when else you have felt the same feelings. What other times in your life have you felt the way you feel now? Tap on those memories. Again, keep tapping on whatever comes up as you go through the process.
The Key to Success:
Don’t stop tapping until you have flipped the feeling or memory. In other words, keep going through the process until your subconscious shows you a positive version of what you were feeling before. For example, if your problem is that your partner is argumentative or cold and distant, don’t stop tapping until you feel warmth, compassion, or you see your partner being affectionate towards you. This will happen if you keep going.
Even though it may seem unlikely, or like you’re “making it up” – if you keep going, you will find it happens spontaneously. This is your cue that the record inside your subconscious has just been changed. Up until then the change will not have been complete.
To learn more about how and why FasterEFT works, visit: The FasterEFT Belief System
For tips and advice on using the FasterEFT process, visit: Tips on Using FasterEFT
Watch Robert help people to transform their lives using FasterEFT on the FasterEFT YouTube Channel