A fear of rejection can be paralyzing. It can affect a person’s ability to live up to their potential in many different areas of life. Someone who is perfectly capable of achieving their dreams and goals can be permanently put off even trying due to a deep fear of being rejected. Let’s look at the cause of fear of rejection, what it is, why conscious reasoning doesn’t work, and how you can get rid of the fear quickly and effectively.
What is the Fear of Rejection?
You may think that a fear of rejection is the fear of being rejected – and that is, of course a logical assumption, and one that is partly correct. However, it is much more than that. More than a fear of being rejected, it is a subconscious reference that rejection is life-threatening. While you may know consciously that there is very little threat to your life when you are rejected, your subconscious does not know this.
The subconscious is like a computer program – it has no ability to determine right from wrong, and it does not have the ability to reason or use logic. It simply does exactly what it’s programmed to do – and it’s very good at that job. In fact, it will do anything to keep you safe according to what “safe” means based on the data it references.
If you have a fear of rejection, it means that somewhere along the line, an experience you had was interpreted by your subconscious to mean that rejection is a threat. This “fact” was filed in your subconscious, and it is now doing whatever is necessary to keep you safe from that danger. This means that when your conscious mind has made choices or decisions that have led to you to a position where you may be rejected; your subconscious prompts your brain to signal your organs to produce the chemicals that put your body into a “fight, freeze or flight” state.
This emergency state overrides any conscious reasoning and logic. It has to – it was designed that way to protect you from predators and other physical dangers. This is why reasoning and positive thinking do very little to get rid of the fear of rejection.
What Causes a Fear of Rejection?
From when you were born, your subconscious interpreted every experience you had – whether it was something you felt, were told, witnessed, or heard – and it filed its interpretation of that experience as “proof” of reality. This is how a baby learns about itself and the environment, and how it learns to survive in that environment.
The subconscious of each individual will interpret experiences in different ways depending on the data he or she already holds. Everything you experience is filtered through the data that already exists in your subconscious records. This is why no two people will have exactly the same experience or perspective.
If you have a fear of rejection, the cause of it will be a record held in your subconscious that provides “proof” that rejection is a threat to your survival. As illogical as that may sound, your subconscious has no logic and is simply following the programming. Your fear of rejection – depending on how strong it is – may be linked to several records. In other words, you may have had several different experiences that have provided various “evidence” that rejection is dangerous.
In order to get rid of the fear of rejection, you need to remove that reference. You need to change the “evidence” that rejection is dangerous. Once you do that, when you find yourself in a situation where rejection is a possibility, the record your subconscious will be referring to will be that rejection is harmless. This will mean that your subconscious will not need to prompt your brain to activate the fight, freeze or flight response; and as a result, you will not feel the fear.
FasterEFT is the fastest and most effective way of getting rid of the fear of rejection since it is designed to work with the subconscious to access the original records and change them.
For a step-by-step guide to getting rid of the fear of rejection using FasterEFT, read: Getting Rid of the Fear of Rejection using FasterEFT.
For more guidance on using the technique itself, read: The FasterEFT Technique – Step-by-Step
To see the process in action watch the videos on the FasterEFT in Action Playlist.
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