The Pain of Missing Someone

The feeling of missing someone varies dramatically depending on the circumstances and the individuals involved. Missing someone you love while they’re at work, or until you see them on the weekend, can be a delicious anticipatory feeling – a bit like feeling hungry, knowing you’re going to be eating a good meal in a few hours.

However, missing someone after a break-up or the death of the person is more painful and devastating. While it’s a natural part of life, it is not necessary to suffer to the extreme. There is a way to get past the pain, and to change your experience of the loss, quickly and effectively.

The Pain of Missing Someone

What is Happening in Your Body While You Are Missing the Person?

Intense emotional stress causes the body to go into the same emergency fight-or-flight state it would if you were being threatened by a wild animal. While the body is designed to survive, and even thrive, in short periods of this emergency state, it is not designed to endure long periods of the stressed state.

While you are feeling the emotional pain of missing the person, your bloodstream is being flooded with stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline; the activity in the prefrontal cortex of your brain reduces – this affects your ability to think clearly and problem-solve since it is where your cognitive thinking occurs; and blood is being pumped away from your organs, to your extremities (in preparation for fighting or running away).

Your immune system is affected, and your body is not able to heal effectively while you are in this state.

What if You Didn’t Miss Them?

There is a natural concern that not missing the person would be wrong. Depending on the circumstances and the individuals involved, there may be a worry that not missing the person would mean not caring; or not missing them may mean an acceptance of the circumstances, and perhaps even “giving in”.

Here are a few points to consider:

  1. If someone has died, or there is some other reason they cannot be with you, ask yourself if they would like you to be feeling bad. Would they prefer that you miss them to the point where it causes you such pain; or would they prefer that you remember the good times you had together and their good points? For example, if you are missing a loved-one who has died, consider the possibility they may rather be remembered for being funny, witty, kind, loving, talented… and any other wonderful attributes, than for their illness or their death. They may also prefer to be remembered in the fun and enjoyable memories you have of them, rather than those last moments that cause feelings of sadness, grief and loss.
  1. If you’ve had a break-up, and you are missing the person, consider the fact that the feeling of missing them is not causing a reconciliation; in fact it is not doing anything to heal the situation or change the circumstances. All it is doing is causing damage to your own health, and affecting all areas of your life in a negative way. It is only doing damage. Freeing yourself from that feeling of missing will allow you to move forward and to get on with creating a life you can enjoy and thrive in.

How to Free Yourself from Missing Someone

Once you have accepted that missing the person does no good, and only causes pain and damage to your physical, emotional and mental health, and negatively affects all areas of your life, it is time to take the action that will help you to quickly and effectively make the changes that will free you from those feelings of missing the person.

Take a deep breath, and think about how much you miss the person. Notice how that feels – what thoughts and memories are coming to you? Notice how you know you miss them, then use the FasterEFT process to clear and flip those feelings, thoughts and memories.

Once you have done this, think of your favorite memory with that person – what is your favorite memory you have of being with them? This is how you are going to choose to remember them instead of missing them. This is how they would prefer to be remembered.

From now on, whenever you think of that person, remember this memory, and send them love. This is better for your physical health, since it triggers the release of endorphins and other feel good chemicals; and it is better for all areas of your life since the way we feel affects everything.

From now on, if you find yourself missing the person – or feeling bad in any other way – use the FasterEFT technique in the moment to clear those feelings and flip any memories that have come up. If you can’t tap physically because there are other people around, use Mental Tapping in the moment.

For more information on FasterEFT and how it works, read: The REAL Cause of All Your Problems.

For more guidance on using the FasterEFT process, read: The FasterEFT Technique – Step-by-Step.

To watch Robert G. Smith (founder of FasterEFT) explain how the mind works, and to see him demonstrating the FasterEFT process, watch the videos on the FasterEFT YouTube Channel.

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