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When You Don’t Mean to Be Mean

Why do You Say Things You Regret?

The reason you find yourself being mean when you really don’t intend to be is because you are on automatic. Your subconscious is driving your reactions, responses, behaviors and communication based on the core records it holds. In other words: when you lash out at a loved-one unintentionally, your response is not conscious. Your subconscious has referred to records that it holds that determine your behavior in that particular moment, taking into account all mitigating factors.

 

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How to Stop Being Mean When You Don’t Mean it

In order to stop this automated reaction of lashing out before you’ve had a chance to consciously filter your response, you need to change the original record – the cause of that response. Change the original record and your response will change automatically. Using FasterEFT you can go in and change those records quickly and effectively.

Step One

Take a moment to think of the best example you have of being mean when you didn’t intend to be. Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and go back to that moment. See what you saw, hear what you heard, and feel what you felt at that time. Notice how it feels – notice where in your body you feel that feeling and how strong it is.

Step Two

Using two fingers, gently tap on the following meridian points while focusing on the feeling of your fingers on your skin and saying the phrases.

– Between your eyebrows – I release and let this go

– Beside your eye – It’s okay to let it go now

– Under your eye – It’s safe to let it all go

– Just below your collarbone – I don’t need to hold onto this anymore, and I’m safe as I’m letting it go.

Step Three

Grab your wrist, take a deep breath and blow it out. Say “Peace” and go to a peaceful memory . Enjoy the feeling of that for a moment.

Step Four

Now, go back to the memory you focused on in Step One, and notice what’s changed. Is the feeling different in any way? Is it less intense? Has the visual aspect of the memory changed in any way? Just notice what’s changed, and then notice what is still left.

Step Five

Repeat Steps Two through Four until all back feelings have gone completely and have been replaced by good feelings – for example, feelings of love, gratitude, forgiveness, peace etc. For more information on this, read: How do I Know When I’m Done Tapping on a Topic?

You may find that as you go through the process, other memories and thoughts come to you – use the technique to flip those as well. Once you have done this, use the technique regularly on anything and everything that bothers you. Whenever you find yourself feeling anything other than good, notice the feeling – notice how you know it’s there, where you feel it, and how strong it is – and then tap it out using the technique above until it flips. Address any memories that come up as you do this as well – tap on those until they flip to positive.

For more information on how our problems are created read: The REAL Cause of All Your Problems.

For more information on using FasterEFT visit: Tips on Using FasterEFT.

To watch videos of FasterEFT visit the FasterEFT YouTube Channel.

 

Article by: Robert G. Smith (ghostwritten by Odille Rault)


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