- April 2, 2017 at 9:08 pm #152338HealingYourEmotionsParticipant
Let me just say that this is the second time writing this. I just spent over half an hour writing a post and when I hit send it said the page could not be displayed. 🙁 Hopefully I can remember what I wrote……
Well, I’m a mess. Big time. I have a lot of fears and phobias and they rule my life. I have breathing fears(forgetting how to breathe), food allergy fears, hospital fears, Medicine(pills)doctors, doctors offices, fear of getting dizzy, passing out, dentists, planes, elevators, etc. I have daily stomach issues, sinus issues, balance issues etc. I’m triggered by a lot of things. I can’t even watch those drug commercials on TV because the side effects they mention freak me out.I had a neck injury years ago that I re-injured on new years day 2012 that has made my life worse. My anxiety started in 1996 but wasn’t that bad and I lived a pretty normal life up until I got hurt again. I tried to just ignore and get back to my daily routine but had trouble. I started having dizzy spells and numbing from my neck. I still do to this day. In 2013 after watching all sorts of videos on youtube about healing I came across a FEFT video and was excited. I thought, I found my answer! I was so excited that I felt amazing for three days straight. Well the feeling faded away and I was back in my pain and fear.
So I thought I need to try this weird tapping stuff. I didn’t understand it and I gave up. But over the course of the last few years I kept watching Roberts videos. I tapped along to them, I tapped on my own. I mental tapped. I studied the articles he put out and tried my best to heal myself but I struggled. My anxiety and my weird phobias started getting stronger and scarier. In august 2016 a practitioner reached out to me and decided to help me. I told her my story. She knew I was broke since I could barely work. I’m fortunate enough to have at least a part time job which gives me a little bit of money. But working is a struggle. But she said I could pay what I could which was very nice of her and a blessing. We did Skype sessions from august until right around Christmas. After four months I still felt the same. I don’t blame her. It’s not her fault, it’s mine. Fear is stopping me. I could sense her frustration knowing I wasn’t getting results. She went on xmas vacation and I haven’t heard from her sense. It’s ok.
I feel like I’m so complex that it’s hard for me to heal. I hardly feel anything. I vividly see things. My big phobias I feel, a lot. But most of my issues I don’t feel them at all but I vividly see them. I’m a visual person. I can imagine anything. Sadly, I have bad imagery inside me. I understand the ART of change, de-fractionization, quick tap, spinning technique, borrowing, and others but it seems nothing works on me which is frustrating. My issue is that I don’t feel safe at all doing Skype sessions for fear that of having a panic attack trying to think about my fears/phobias. I had a bad one once doing one session with her. I hate it! I feel like I would feel safe or safer doing sessions in front of a practitioner(At a feft seminar)with maybe even another person their to help calm me and tell me I’m ok. I mean I know the past is over, I know the memories aren’t real, I know I’m not crazy, I know I’m doing this to keep me safe but I’m terrified. Even tapping at a distance is hard. I feel stuck. I have no life anymore. No social life, no friends anymore etc. I don’t even know what to do anymore. I turn 40 in july and want this vicious cycle to be over. What can I do? Thanks for listening.
DonnyMay 10, 2017 at 6:23 am #161922Heidi LimParticipant
hi, my name is Heidi and my skype is zoewii. maybe i can help you.May 10, 2017 at 5:40 pm #161967HealingYourEmotionsParticipant
Hi Heidi. Thank you for reaching out. Are you on Facebook at all?
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