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Insight into thoughts

Home Forums FasterEFT PTSD, Trauma & Anxiety Insight into thoughts

This topic contains 12 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by   4 years, 1 month ago.

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  • #25409


    Participant

    Hello everybody!

    I’m happy to say that FasterEFT has made IMMENSE changes to my life I wouldn’t have thought possible. At the outer layer of my denial onian was ADHD then C-PTSD and then finally Fibromyalgia. I’m already tapping for two months and every day for five hours plus.

    Yesterday I told myself ‘I let go of this fear this …beeeeepp…. brain noise/fog what is this?’ This morning I woke up screaming and now I know what it is. My symptoms and strange behavior / running against walls / dry eyes / screaming / pain have been attributed to my vision impairment by my narcissistic father and grandmother. OMG they have indeed fucked me in the a** really good. How often I have been sick due to this FMS with mid-ear infections and chronic tiredness but of course I was a lazy sleepyhead. :/

    I have already stopped doing meth/dmt/ritalin/mdma/whatever basically everything stopped smoking as well. Now I’m basically left with the withdrawal symptoms which I ENJOY because they give me hallucinations (visual/tactile(pain)/auditory basically I am in my childhood in the matrix)

    My question is will this insight stay with me or will it vanish as the drug withdrawals fade? My peace list is already more then huge and I am worried that I will not be able to get all the ‘keys’ in time.

    Thanks everybody and I love you especially Robert.

    peace out
    Vincent

    #25410

    CompletelyHealed
    Participant

    WooHoo! Great Job! Immense changes come Quicker and Easier as you Release and Let It Go! The effects of your Inner confusion (denial Onion) are ALL things I have seen VANISH as you CLEAN up and Change your Mind!

    As you realize that your Inner Confusion was NOT caused by those around you, but HOW you Perceived, Processed and Stored those FEELINGS, you will understand HOW it was YOU that Created EVERYTHING “in” YOU! So then you can FORGIVE Everyone and Everything that influenced the Choices of Thought “you” made, and be Happy they did, so you can learn the TRUTH! Once I took responsibility for MY thoughts, It was EASY to FORGIVE, them AND myself … and Heal!

    When you are ready, you can Forgive and Let Go of the withdrawals TOOooo!

    #25411


    Participant

    Thanks! When I was a baby, they notched my eyes out and crushed my skull. As i let go of the pain in my eyes and head, I can suddenly see much better. Yeah but it was ME who PERCEIVED the pain as pain. :D Of course it was! It’s a nice mindset but it can only go so far.

    #25412

    CompletelyHealed
    Participant

    vwochnik said

    It’s a nice mindset but it can only go so far.

    I understand what you are saying. Before I found what worked, I couldnt imagine it working. Pain was REAL and FELT through-out my body. But then it did for ME! Since then I have taught Many others, partially Motivated by curiosity in finding out what Pain will move and what Pain wont. MY experiences have ME BELIEVING “ALL PAIN” can be reduced, after all, that has been MY Experience.

    If there is a Limit, I have NOT found it!

    Banging on your Head and telling the Pain to go away SOUNDS like a FairyTale? AGREED! But when you EXPERIENCE IT, you TOoo will be wondering if it was Real to begin with?

    Please persist until you find it! I look forward to YOUR SUCCESS and Testimony!

    #25413


    Participant

    As I let the pain go, my pain threshold goes down as well. I cannot believe how much pain I was carrying. My dad really stated his point “leave me alone or I kill you” from the first second I was alive. It’s ridiculous and I didn’t even register it back then. To survive I had to abandon my soul/feelings, pain sensations, eyes and ears. It’s really unbelievable that I wanted to see him after the divorce. Now he’s rotting away somewhere just like the rest of the family.

    I’m still trembling whether my vision will come back. But as I’m writing this text I realize yeah it probably is. I’m sitting more up straight and my screen is only magnified half as much as it used to be. Still lots of pain to go.

    peace

    #25414


    Participant

    I have made a realization which I did not expect: The initial trauma could not be processed and since my field of vision has shrinked to a spot which was the most pain free / free of pictures from the trauma. As I let got of the trauma, all memories which have been recorded since are only in this field of vision and worse are based somehow upon the trauma itself. It feels as if all memories are vanishing as I let go of the trauma. Is this true? That would mean that all ‘bad’ bad memories are gone and all ‘good’ bad memories are gone because objectively they are bad because they are based upon the unprocessed trauma which was trapped in my nervous system. Thoughts?

    #25415

    CompletelyHealed
    Participant

    I dont Fully understand… I dont actually FORGET memories. Removing the Emotional factor De-Personalizes the Memories, they just dont Move me to judgement or any Negative Emotions? They no longer Define ME!

    #25416


    Participant

    Okay, that’s kind of what I mean. But the emotional charge of the initial trauma was carried into ALL memories i have had since. That’s what I mean. Also I’m working for a week now straight on this ONE memory.

    EDIT: Another thing. How do I now proceed with reality? My father is still ‘why are you punishing me? what did i do to deserve this?’ narcissistic talk. I have told him to look at FasterEFT if he feels rejected this way but I have also told him that I know that he was the one inflicting me with this huge burden. I can now imagine that he is confronted with the very unpleasant reality of him fucking up everything (kids wife and family) and his imaginative world of everyone doing this to him. I’m very worried that he acts out or does something unpredictable.

    #25417

    CompletelyHealed
    Participant

    Once you told your father, did it Relieve your huge burden? It sounds like you are still holding on to Guilt, Blame, Unforgiveness?

    #25418


    Participant

    Yes, I do definitely! Part of that unforgiveness is my fear that my vision will not recover. It is very hard for me to forgive my father since this fact. My whole life is based on this one huge trauma and when I go back I see a very angry provocative laughing man notching his baby’s eyes out.

    I mean the fact is that I’ve been told I have an eye disease but before I cleared this memory I had such eye pain when I went back there I simply do not believe anymore what I’ve been told. This memory was so clear I had to work on it to even see it fully. I had lots of black circles and noise in it which is what I believe my mind’s way of protecting itself. I had to live there for seven years before my mother moved out. When I was a baby, I got huge intestinal pains and such from that trauma and NOBODY did anything! It’s very hard to forgive such a behavior since I have lasting damage. My vision has become a bit clearer but I suspect that it is my mind clearing the visual snow I had from all the trauma.

    #25419

    CompletelyHealed
    Participant

    If a memory gives you Stress ( anger, fear, blame, guilt,sadness …etc), YOU suffer the BAD chemicals the body releases under Stress. We FORGIVE, not to Help your abusers, but to RELEASE the Cycle of Bad Chemicals from Hurting YOU. Sure, maybe they are getting a Free pass from the past, but YOU benefit the most! If the NOW is bad, change your situation, then LET IT GO! The PAST can ONLY effect YOU, if YOU let it! Let it Go!

    In MY honest opinion… Forgiveness and Healing go hand in hand… at a SubConscious level… what you hold against others, is HELD against YOU (by YOU), and this very UNForgiveness is what CREATES Your Problems. The UNForgiveness in a way, is what tells your SubConscious Mind there IS something wrong, so it CREATES/PERSISTS in Physical Problems. Forgiving tells your SubConscious mind the problem is over, so it can RELEASE the Physical Aspect of the Stress.

    Sorry for such a short answer, I could probably write a book about that ONE aspect of forgiveness/unforgiveness, and still not Cover the Complexity of IT?

    If you had to CHOOSE… would you choose to Forgive so YOU can Heal?

    #25420


    Participant

    WOW! Just Wow! I figured out as I let go of the pain, I can switch between memories much quicker! I mean I had trouble staying in good AND bad memories. I was always rotating and turning and trying to grab onto something like a dying fish. ^^

    #25421


    Participant

    WOW! Just Wow! I figured out as I let go of the pain, I can switch between memories much quicker! I mean I had trouble staying in good AND bad memories. I was always rotating and turning and trying to grab onto something like a dying fish. ^^

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