I want to share an observation after getting some better understanding of memories categorizing under something that easy for the mind to grasp – it’s called the metaphoric mind – Robert speaks of that a lot on youtube.
Since I’m invested emotionally in this pattern, this is made as a suggestion for observation only and not a follow-through pattern of behavior;
As a child I was restricted a lot, punished for not following what my brother asked me to do;
– I wasn’t allowed to do anything
– Go anywhere
– Play with anything home
Everything as a way of punishment.
The only source of Fun, Excitement, Joy, Entertainment, Variety, Love, Care and just something to do was the only things I could find around the house; Food in its mighty variations (sugar and bread)
So I used food when I was bored, had nothing else to do, just to do something, to have some fun and excitement in my life, have some joy when I don’t, some pleasure.
that’s not all – there’s the second part of that;
I also used food as a reward – but not by myself…
I was rewarded good food when I was sick, accomplished something my parents wanted, done well basically
so now when I’m doing well and there’s a desire to reward myself – I do it with food.
That’s my fresh discovery – I do hope to bring more light in this pattern because it fascinates me how easy it’s created and in what variations you may “catch” it.