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Not “cool” enough

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This topic contains 9 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  Lisa K 9 years, 7 months ago.

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  • #21147

    Lisa K
    Participant

    Guys, I have a problem. Sometimes I am talking to someone and I feel

    something horrible, as if the person is going to dislike me. It hurts.

    It´s so weird. I also feel great discomfort when I am the center of

    attention. Maybe it´s if I am going to screw up or I think that I am

    not cool enough to have all those people around me paying attention to

    me. Ok, writing this now made me realize that I have issues with

    thinking that I am not “cool” enough. It´s not good enough or unworthy,

    it´s  not being COOL enough. Then I think people will find it out if

    they pay too much attention to me.

     

    Do I have memories of not being cool during my early years? Yes, but they are hundreds, if not thousands. I simply can´t list all of them and clear each one. I don´t even remember most of them. There must be a better way to heal that about me.

     

    Besides, trying to find the first memory is speculation. Thrying to find how it started will be speculation. My clever and dangerous mind will come up with a very convincing wrong explanation.

     

    Can I get some help here?

     

    1 – How do I know that I think that people will think I am not cool enough?

    – I know I am cool today, but my subconscious mind does not let me react accordingly. I am too self-conscious. I suffer quietly. So I know I have this problem because I have terrible feelings that I can´t name when I am talking to someone, sometimes.

     

    Thank you!!!

    #21148

    Thomas James
    Participant

    Lisa, as a novice to fastereft, i too have been overwhelmed with the size of the problems and the 1000s of memories that need fixing. Just start tapping and releasing the negative identity that you have built within (the issue of not being cool) and you will see quick if not complete results.  Completing the process takes time and Robt says we will be tapping from here on.  A life style to handle life.

    I think you are way cool for seeing the problem so clearly!

    Be CoolSmile

    #21149

    Katalin Dávid
    Participant

    Hi, Lisa,Smile

     

    It is so familiar, what you wrote… Almost you are me….

    Good news, you don't need all the memory. Just begin to work on them, as long as the feeling, you are not cool enough is no longer exist. And after it, maybe send the cool feeling, that you are now to those.

    Of course your mind not let you feel cool, if you have all those not-cool memories. It wants you to heal. But sometimes I too, think, that my clever mind make up wrong explanations, because they were just unimaginable for me to connected to the original problem. But in the end, alwasy turned out, that the real issue cleared.

    Only yesterday, I realized, I always felt less, than the other people. And had to tap on hundreds of memories – they came, like a whirwind- to clear. And it is not over, but lessened a lot.

    You can tap on that terrible, no-named feeling, I think it is  a good start-point.

     

    I wish you success,

    #21150

    Katalin Dávid
    Participant

    Hi,

     

    And you may find video36 interesting. (For me, it was.)

     

    #21151

    Dale Adams
    Participant

    There is no way KNOW what other people think of you. No matter how they act, or what they say. 

    Dont worry about going after thousands of memories. As you clear the ones that hurt you the most now, many others will be released at the same time.

    Ive been seeing this alot. People get so wound up about not being able to release everything right now, they hold themselves back. Tap on anything that bothers you. Learn the process as Robert describes it in his videos.

    One of Roberts sayings is “what you do before you do what you do determines the result”. When you find yourself worrying about meeting people, tap on the feelings before you meet them.

    As you clear the problems you do know about, the big ones will show themselves. Your subconcious is trying to protect you. Show it you can handle the small stuff. Cool

    #21152

    Nina Zamudio
    Participant

    LISA

    Often, when I read the initial posts from folks on here, if I have any sort of slight “twinge” of relation to the issues, I start tapping as I read along.  I think the act of typing out the post in order for it to make sense to a wider audience outside ourselves does wonders to clarify. AND SO, I think you should read your initial post, which is so clear in it's presentation of the issue, and tap.  I know that may sound rudimentary, however, it's in your own words/thoughts and it's a great jumping off point.  

    #21153

    Lisa K
    Participant

    Thank you guys! Thank you very much for every post here!

     

    Can we do the “tell a story” method using FasterEFT? Sometimes I don´t have a conscious memory and the act of talking while tapping brings the memory to the surface. Or sometimes it´s just a disturbance with no memories attached.

     

    The question is:

     

    Do you think that doing the FasterEFT process such as “This disturbance X,Y,Z – I release and let it go…” is better than doing the “tell a story” method such as “I have this disturbance, it´s hurting me, I think that… blablabla” ?

     

    In other words, do you think that focusing on the memory, feeling or belief and applying the FasterEFT method makes the “tell a story” method long and unnecessary?

     

    How cool would that be if it were true?

    #21154

    Dale Adams
    Participant

    In the original EFT, the tell the story technique is used to gently guide someone through a traumatic memory. If looking in the mirror and explaining what is bothering you gets you clear on what's bothering you go for it. 

     http://www.youtube.com/user/HealingMagic#p/search/8/Yr_tVGD0qNE

    This vid shows how to make a list of everything that has hurt you, and how important it is to healing.

    #21155

    Nina Zamudio
    Participant

    LISA –   this was typed elsewhere on this board, can't remember which topic, but it's a recurring FasterEFT sequence from Robert:

     

    over eyes:   “I release and let go of all of my sadness”

    side of eye:  “I release and let go of all of my fear”

    under eye:  “I release and let go of all of the emotional traumas, all feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, all trapped feelings, all feelings of no control.”

    collarbone:  “I release and let go of all of the guilt, anger, abandonment, rejections, betrayals, feelings of frustrations and everything else.”

    Take a nice deep breath, squeeze your wrist and say “Peace”

     

    In watching many of Robert's videos, this sequence is used as a broad spectrum clearinghouse. 

     

    I printed it out and have a copy of it at my desk at work, desk at home, at my bedside and taped on the wall, eye level across the loo.Cool

    To me, this would be a great jumping off point for any sort of “tell the story” technique.   I haven't used the story technique since FasterEFT and I still feel the clearing happening even though I'm new to it.

    Anyways, the sequence:

    It's such a great all-in-one sequence that it sometimes I use it alone and other times, when I am not quite in focus, that's where I begin.  If I have a nice tapping session, that's what I end with.  I find that when I AM more in focus, I feel a “hit” on one of those words, then I follow it. 

    Hope it helps you.

    #21156

    Lisa K
    Participant

    It does help Nina. Thanks. I´ll open a new topic cause I just realized why it´s been so difficult for me to do fasterEFT on myself. Thank you everybody. See you in the next topic.

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